Just Breathe
by Welshy84
Summary: This is a AU future fic, where Chloe tries to deal with Lex's death.


Author: welshy  
Title: Just breathe (still working on it)  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing  
Summary: This is a AU future fic, where Chloe tries to deal with Lex's death.  
Note: I don't really like this, but I've been trying to write something for a while now and whilst sitting on a balcony freezing my butt off, with a blanket rapped around me, for two hours my muse popped this idea into my head. So I went with it.

She enhaled the scent of the nightgown, before pulling it over her head. The whole room was quickly losing his scent but it was clinging to the black cloth that was rapped around her. She needed it, everything was falling around her and she needed it. She needed to feel his presence, his warmth, she needed to drown in it so desperately. She was already drowning in her own emotions, that she could barely breath.

It was three months since his death and her friends and family, had already moved on since his passing. The thing was they wanted her to as well. They just didn't know how to help her. She was too private with her emotions, she didn't want to be coddled, she didn't want to sit in a room in silence as someone talked about nothing and everything all at once. There was no way they could get through to her, so they did the only thing they could, they tried to help her move on.

It was too early, too soon though. She was breaking in front of them. The pain was too unbearable, ever part of her ached. And even though Lois tried to pull her into her arms, tried to comfort her, as her father tried to tell her she was going to be ok. She ran.

She didn't know how she got there, or how long it took her but she was now standing in front of their old apartment. Her body shook, as she tried to breath, forcing herself through the door.

Nothing was touched, although the rooms had been aired and she couldn't feel him in anything. But the moment she walked through the bedroom doors, she was instantly assaulted by his essence. It was lingering in the walls and the bed cover, which was bunched up at the bottom of the bed from when they were there last. Everything was still the same, she made sure this room was untouched. Even though everyone wanted her to let go, but she needed something. And here it was hanging from the closet handle. She quickly pulled at it with shaking hands and pressed it against her face. It was him, all him. And as she rapped his scent all around her, her body crumpled.

Curled up in the corner of the bed, rapped in Lex's nightgown. Trying so hard to just breath.

They never had that much time as a married couple. A year, they were together three years before that. And he gave her everything she ever needed and so much more, his father never approved but she wasn't suprised. As she pulled the black cloth over her head and pressed it into her face, enhaling as she felt the tears prickles her eyes. She could remember the last time they were here. It was the night before it happened.

They wanted a night to themselves, away from everyone and they decided to go to Metropolis for some quality time. With his business gaining so many clients over the couple of years and her finally making a name out of herself as a journalist. They were never able to make time for themselves and they needed a break from everything. The night didn't go as well as they planned though, she got called back to finish up a story, and he needed to finish up a contract. When they finally got to Metropolis, they were too tired to do anything. Their plans thrown out the window. So they were left with ordering pizza and a bottle of wine, which ended up untouched. They spent the night in bed with a pizza box between them, their clothes were removed between slices. They were too tired to do anything but push the card board box to the floor and curl up in each others arms.

Lois didn't know why she came, she knew her cousin wouldn't want her there. It wasn't suprising though, it wasn't long after Chloe and Lex got together, that she got onto Chloe to break up with him. It was just that it wasn't long before she ended it with him. And she didn't want to see Chloe go through what she did, but her words fell on deaf ears. Chloe's relationship with him was alot stronger than her's was. Chloe let him open up, listened to everything, the good and the bad. And Chloe didn't run like she did. And apart of her was jealous of that, she couldn't cope with it. There was so much more to Lex than she thought possible. The way he handled business, the way he instantly closed off from people when he realised he couldn't trust them. He trusted her though and the moment he opened up, she ran. And she ended up with Clark, and there was a twist. She wanted him to open up to her, and tell her everything but he never did. He was too busy keeping secrets from her.

Lex and Chloe worked better than anyone dreamed it would. And when they got married, no one was more suprised than she was. That she would help her get ready for the big day, listening to everyday. And now here she was trying to help her get over his death.

It was an accident, it was an accident. Someone drove through a red light, witnesses said Lex never even saw the car coming. He was waiting for his own car when it happened. The driver drove through the red light before losing control of the wheel and than it happened. She ran down the stairs, the moment she heard the noise. Her heart beat pounding in her ears, as she ran to the entrance. The moment she saw him laying on the ground, everything seemed to stop. The sound of her heartbeat faded, the screams she couldn't hear, as people tried to pull her back. Her body felt like it was auto pilot, as she was pulled back into the apartment block. She saw him though, laying there on the ground and as she closed her eyes, the last thing she saw was his blood soaked face.

That was all she could ever see, no matter how hard she willed herself, or how many pictures she looked at. She always saw the blood.

She rapped the nightgown tighter around her body, as she tried yet again to erase the image from her mind. The tears were biting against her skin, as she roughly pulled the cloth from over head and caressed the material against her cheeks. It just made it worse, the pain was just too much. She tried to distance herself from for too long. Now it seemed to be finally catching up on her, she knew she wouldn't be able to hide from it for too long. And she already feel herself drown in it. Pushing against her chest, rapping itself around her heart, as she tried to breath. And thats when she felt it, a dip in the bed. Against all hopes, she wanted it to be Lex. But when she felt a feminine hand caress her forehead, she crumpled even more as an arm rapped around her waist. It was Lois. Neither one of them said anything as her cousin pulled her back against her. And neither said anything, as Chloe finally let the tears go and let herself deal with the pain.


End file.
